Title: Accidental (Team Free) Lovin': Bow Chika Wow Wo— argh! My eyes!
Authors: Mistina60 and Sailor Shipper a.k.a. the Cranky Ol' Fangirls
Pairing(s): Dean/Castiel, Sam/Gabriel
Spoilers: Season 4, at the very least.
Word Count: 12,416 words
Summary: Dean Winchester finally succumbs to his ‘more than friends’ feelings for Castiel. It is a sickeningly romantic evening. When they return to the shabby motel room, however, they discover the evening wasn’t romantic at all. It was... Tainted. So very, very tainted. (Revised 2016/03/02)
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3
The morning sun struggled through the filth of the motel room curtains. The few victorious rays tickled Sam’s cheek, revealing the mess that was once his glorious mane and the drool dribbling down his chin. With a groan, the Winchester slowly awakened. He lethargically brushed the sweat slicked strands of hair from his damp forehead and wipes away the saliva trickling from the corner of his mouth. The cottonmouth was nasty, and surprising seeing as he was just drooling. Groggily, he pulled himself up enough to rest on his elbows and, squinting, took stock of his surroundings.
“Where... Where are my...” garbled Sam as he lazily lifted the gaudy comforter and confirmed that he was in fact naked, “Fuck... Where... Oh...”
He found them on the floor, on the dresser, on the bathroom’s door knob, on the lamp... Basically everywhere except on him. He ran a nervous hand through his greasy bed head but froze mid stroke when his situation dawned on him. A quick glance to his left confirmed his memories and all he could do was bury his face into his hands and groan pitifully.
“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuccckkk....”
“Holy fuck!” Sam nearly jumped out of his skin and out of the bed.
The hunter had forgotten that angels don’t sleep. Gabriel must have been pretending to snooze to fool Sam’s sleep addled brain because the nude trickster was suddenly on top of the covers in a ‘seductive’ and extremely revealing pose all the while waggling his eyebrows.
“Yes, it really was.” said Gabriel lewdly, his fingers trailing up and down the hunter’s large bicep playfully. “Did I hear you asking for another round~?”
“Nooo! Back off— Hey! No touching!” Sam smacked away the angel’s wandering hands frantically and scrambled away, nearly falling off the edge of the bed in a tangled heap of sheets.
“That’s not what you said last night~” sing-songed the angel in rebuttal as he slowly and lecherously pursued his prey.
“How are you still alive?!”
Sam’s sudden outburst stopped Gabriel in his tracks. The angel had no idea what the hunter meant by this emphatic exclamation. He sat back on his haunches took a moment to process the perplexing words, tapping his index finger on his chin.
“Ah! Ha!” he snapped his fingers when he finally deciphered the seemingly unexpected question. “You’re talking about your cursed penis, right? You’re worried that your cursed—”
Sam paled when the archangel stopped mid-sentence. The hunter knew he’d been found out. The angry frown that formed on Gabriel’s face confirmed it.
“Wait...You were trying to kill me?!”
Sam looked away guiltily, not bothering to answer.
“Oh. My. Dad! You were trying to kill me!” exclaimed Gabriel, looking completely affronted.
“Uh...” Sam was at a complete loss, trapped in a room with a powerful archangel who knows the hunter attempted to kill him.
With his penis.
Sam was so boned.
...In a different way.
“Silly, silly moose.” laughed Gabriel, his hurt demeanor replaced with his trickster persona in the blink of an eye. Sam gawked at the mercurial angel.
“I am honored that the great Sam Winchester tried to kill me with his penis...” Sam snapped out of his stupor and glared at Gabriel as this statement caused his suspicion and rage to resurface with a vengeance. “Just one flaw with you plan... You’re supposed to use that glorious cursed object in me but if you recall, because I most certainly do, I’m the one who used my not-at-all-cursed dic—”
“Shut up!” Sam hysterically hit the angel in the face with his lumpy pillow, his face turning an impressive shade of scarlet. Gabriel only laughed which only deepened the hunter’s despair. Sam groaned loudly and buried his face into his hands in frustration.
“Sammy-boy, relax!” chuckled Gabriel as he slapped Sam on the back, still laughing. Always laughing. Sam couldn’t take it anymore.
“Stop!” the hunter slapped away Gabriel’s hand again and hopelessly pulled away. “Just... Just stop! Just...” He pulled his knees up to his chest and rests his cheek on them dejectedly to stare off into the distance. With a sad sigh, his shoulders droop and his limbs go slack.
Sam Winchester gives up.
Gabriel was so dumbfounded by utterly defeated Sam Winchester, his expression actually falters and looks almost... human.
“...I’m sorry, Sam.”
”Yeah...” Sam snorts cynically. “Sure you are...”
”Yes.” Gabriel puts a surprisingly gentle hand on Sam’s shoulder, surprising the hunter. “I really am sorry.”
Sam’s head jerks up to meet Gabriel’s eyes and glared. The glare didn’t last long, however, as his eyes widened in confusion when he sees the sincerity in the angel’s eyes. Taken aback, he takes a good long look of Gabriel. Sam didn’t see a trickster sitting naked next to him anymore. He didn’t know what was sitting next to him naked now.
“Is this another joke?” asked Sam, his eyes narrowed, “or is there really more to you than tricks?”
“No.” snapped Sam, glaring. “Lie to me some more because that’s going really well.”
“Well, it kinda is seeing as we’re here—” started Gabriel flippantly, until he caught sight of Sam’s bitch face of ultimate doom. “Uh... Right... Sorry, it’s kind of a reflex now.”
This strangely sincere demeanor softened the hunter’s bitch face as Sam was unsure how to process it.
“Honesty... Wow, that’s hard. Okay. Let’s see. Since I left Heaven, I became Loki. I am Loki. It’s me, so, it’s not a persona...”
That was definitely not what Sam wanted to hear. With this, the hunter was done with this entire situation, done with Gabriel. He whips the sheets off and moves to get up but the self-professed trickster stops him by his wrist.
“But then I met you, Moose— Er, Sam. Sorry... Reflex.” Gabriel finished lamely.
Sam turned slowly in Gabriel’s grip, a look of wonder on his face. Acknowledging that the hunter wasn’t going to flee anymore, he lets go.
“First time for everything.” shrugged Gabriel prompting another bitch face from Sam. “Yes, Sam. I’m serious.”
“...Holy. Shit.” the hunter’s response elicited a chuckle and a smirk from Gabriel.
“Appropriate word choice, Sammy.”
Sam snorted but smiled broadly, “don’t call me Sammy.”
“Fine, Moose.” sighed Gabriel dramatically. Sam laughed earnestly and shoved the archangel playfully.
“Asshole!” the hunter tackled the trickster and they roughhoused on the bed, getting tangled in the sheets, until Sam’s cell phone went off in his discarded jeans which were on the floor.
Laughing, Sam awkwardly disentangles himself from the clingy angel and falls off the bed. Laughing harder, he crawled to his jeans and fishes his phone from a pocket. Feebly containing his laughter, he flips open the phone and answers.
“Hello? Hehe... Oh.” Sam’s expression goes slack. “Hi... Dean...”
Gabriel, still on the bed wrapped in the cheap linens, starts chuckling but goes quiet when Sam turns back briefly to glare at him.
“No, I haven’t eaten yet... Breakfast? O-okay... What’s the address— What? No, no, everything’s fine! The address? Yeah. Uh huh. Okay, see you in an hour. Bye!” Sam snaps phone shut, not looking at the trickster.
An awkward silence followed.
Taking a deep breath to steel himself, Sam returns to stand next to the bed. He looked down sternly at the trickster.
“You will behave.”
“Hmm...” Gabriel playfully takes his time to answer. “Okay, but I have one condition.” He waggles eyebrows suggestively and Sam smirks.
“If I understand your ‘condition’...” the hunter pounces on the angel. “I accept, if you make it quick.”
“Kiss to seal the deal?” Gabriel puckered his lips in an exaggerated manner, also making kissing sounds.
“I thought that was only demons?” said Sam, arching a brow.
“I can be anything you want— Oomph!”
Sam silences the mouthy trickster with a deep kiss and they fall back onto the stiff motel mattress.
Dean and Castiel were on their way to the diner where they were meeting Sam. The angel had zapped them to a secluded alley couple blocks away from their destination. Castiel trailed behind the hunter but remained as close as he could without his mercurial lover protesting about personal space. Though, as of late, Dean’s concept of ‘personal space’ had shrunk considerably.
“Just remember, Cas... Go easy on the whole ‘couply’ thing for a bit.” Dean was telling Castiel, yet again, before quickly attempting to smooth over the rough delivery, again. “Not that I’m ashamed or anything! It’s just that I want to give Sammy a chance to calm down... I mean, thanks to your dick brother, I think we almost broke his brain last night... and not in the good way!”
Castiel frowned and clenched his jaw just a bit. It had taken so much to get Dean to accept him and after all the astounding progress they had made last night Dean’s need to keep the angel a secret did feel like a bit of a rejection. Then again, Castiel had anticipated this. It was Dean, after all. The emotionally stunted, image conscious, macho hunter. But knowing that didn’t lessen the sting of becoming a ‘dirty little secret’ at all. But the angel pushed the hurt aside because he understood that it was more than that: that since before he could remember, Dean cared about his brother above all others. Sam was Dean’s blood and responsibility. It would just take some time to find his own place in this dynamic and probably even more time to overcome the hunter’s many other issues.
“Very well, Dean. I will do as you wish, but know that sooner or later your brother will have to learn to accept our new relationship. I will abide by human concepts of decency and your wishes, but only so far...” though Castiel didn't say it out loud, he did agree with some of Dean’s concerns. Not many, but some. The angel knew that there were some aspects of human love that he would prefer to engage in with Dean while they were away from prying eyes.
“I’m sure he will. He’s princess Samantha after all, but we just need to remember to hang a sock or something in the future...” Dean told Castiel, who just looked confused at the reference that went over his halo. Frustrated over that little missed reference, and Dean overall, Castiel made a promise to himself to try and learn more about humans so he could eventually make some sense of his lover.
Any further conversation was cut short, however, when the taller but younger Winchester walked over to them. Speak of the devil and all that. Sam was pretty much a moving landmark and had no more trouble spotting Dean and Cas then they did of spotting him.
Dean, though taken aback by his baby brother’s sudden appearance, still managed a genuine smile and waved. The smile didn’t last as it turned out his brother had company. Dean snarled when he spotted a shorter figure walking next to Sam, babbling at him while waving a red sucker around.
“What the Hell is he doing here?” Dean shot a Gabriel a pissed off look while next to him Castiel tensed, though he was more worried about what his angry human lover would do considering how difficult he was when the archangel wasn’t around. Gabriel’s presence only exacerbated things. Case in point: yesterday. It had taken the rest of last night and most of the morning to get Dean to calm down from his brother’s cruel prank.
“He’s here to apologize.” replied Sam with ease, because who wouldn’t anticipate this reaction from Dean. “Right, Gabe?” he nudged his companion gently with his elbow.
“I was?” Sam elbows the trickster viciously at the response. “Oomph! I mean, yup! I was. … Wait, did you just call me Gabe?”
“Oh for crying out loud...” sighed Sam, rolling his eyes fondly. “Let’s just head in so we can sort things...”
Dean snorted in disbelief but doesn’t hesitate to take up his brother’s recommendation. Crankily, he bangs open the diner door and stomps in followed by his sighing moose of a brother. Castiel moves to follow but is stopped by a powerful hand on the shoulder.
The blue eyed angel whirls about to find his brother smirking knowingly at him. His eyes widened when he translated the archangel’s wordless message: So... Baby bro’s first make up sex. I’m so proud! How was it?
Castiel cocks his head to the side in his usual confused manner. His lip twitches to reply but he remains silent when he suddenly notices something different about Gabriel, about his grace. The younger angel gawks at his elder when he realizes what Gabriel had been up to after he had stormed out last night.
Gabriel’s smirk falls when he realizes he’s been found out and rushes after the Winchester brothers into the diner.
Castiel, bristling, unsure how to feel or react, follows the guilty angel into the diner. He finds Dean flopping into a booth to sprawl over most of the seat and settle into the corner. He’s attempting to pout in a ‘manly’ manner. Castiel awkwardly fits himself next to the miserable hunter. Awkwardly because Dean was taking up most of the seat and because the angel was now aware of the current relationship status of the pair seating themselves across the table.
Sam squeezed himself into the opposite seat with Gabriel sliding in smoothly next to Sam, wrapping an arm around the giant while waggling his eyebrows. Castiel frowned because of Dean’s anticipated reaction.
“What the FUCK?!” Dean bolted upright but his brother beat him to it.
“Dammit, Gabe!” exclaimed Sam, smacking the angel’s arm off his shoulders.
“Awe, Moose... If you don’t want me affectionate you should stop with the cute nickname...” Gabriel leaned in to bat lashes annoyingly but suddenly jumps. “Ow, what the... Cas? Did you just kick me?!”
“I believe you had something to say, Gabriel.” said Castiel completely straight faced, completely ignoring the archangel’s accusation effectively throwing Gabriel off.
“Wha? Oh! Right...” clearing his throat, Gabriel sits up and his expression becomes serious and repentant, which is scary in itself. “Dean, Castiel, Sam... I apologize for last night. I mean, I don’t apologize for turning Sam into the impala, but I do apologize for not changing him back when I saw where you two... were... going... to... you know...”
If it would be physically possible, Dean would be shooting steam out of his ears on top of being tomato red.
“Thank you, Gabriel, for your surprisingly sincere apology.” said Castiel while the flustered hunter sitting next to him floundered for words. Strangely enough, the angel’s words drew a glare from Dean but made him articulate again.
“I-I-I just don’t get it?!”—spat out Dean—“Last night was Hell on earth, but you are evil so it makes sense! But now you’re apologizing? What the Hell?! Wait... Are you possessed?! Do I finally get to gank you—” the hunter reaches for his concealed gun but Castiel grabs his arm and stops him.
“It’s not working, Sam. Do I still get the brownie points?” asked Gabriel, his contrite demeanor gone as he ignored the pair across from him. The archangel now donned a ‘kicked puppy’ aura.
“Brownie points?!” sputtered Dean.
“Gabriel, what the Hell are you doing?!” Sam tried to keep his voice low, but failed. “You freaking agreed before we left—”
“Agreed on?” Dean gaped. “Did you make a deal with this guy?! Angels make deals? Or was it a trickster deal—”
“What?! No!” Sam quickly denied, waving the conclusions off frantically only to get screwed over. Not in the good way, obviously.
“Gabe! What the Hell?!”
The archangel’s reply was to sneak a hand up Sam’s thigh making the younger Winchester jump.
“Jesus Christ!” exclaimed Sam when his knees slammed up against the underside of the table, causing it to jerk and its contents to tremble violently.
“Awe, what happened to Gabe.” Gabriel gave Sam a very insincere look of hurt, his lower lip trembling just a bit, though his eyes still held that spark of mischief.
“I freaking knew it! You played me this morning! Move! I’m leaving—” Sam’s voice rose in agitation as he shot Gabriel an annoyed glare, finding himself wishing he could get his hands on an angel blade.
Dean slammed his hands down hard on the table and pushed himself out of his seat, looking like he was ready to make a grab at the trickster. “PLAYED?! What the fuck did he—?”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Down, Sammy— Er... Sam! I was—am—serious!” Suddenly Gabriel’s face went from its normal teasing to truly serious and sincerely more than a little concerned.
“Move, Gabriel!” Sam snapped as he attempted to push his way past Gabriel. Despite the angel’s smaller size it wasn’t working, but that was probably because only his vessel was smaller. Gabriel stayed firmly in his seat, though he did turn and push a hand against Sam’s chest in an attempt to get the irritated hunter to keep seated.
“Please calm down! I want you to call me ‘Gabe’ again!” Gabriel did his best to calm Sam down, something that he was quite new at. Being serious was hard.
Sam stopped trying to escape, though he still glared at Gabriel, his jaw clenched in agitation. On the other side of the table both Cas and Dean watched the interaction, Cas with his normal detachment and Dean with growing realization.
“I can change, but not the core of my personality, Sammy. I am who I am...” Gabriel has strain to meet Sam’s eyes, but he did so, willing the human to see his rare sincerity as well as to accept that part of him would still always to be the trickster.
“Right... But you can understand my mistrust..” Sam grumbled, still not sure if he wanted to give into Gabriel again.
“Yeah... Which is why I’m trying really hard.”
Sam felt himself melt. It was hard to stay angry at Gabriel when he talked like that. True, he was a pain in the ass, but at least he was trying to be better. Plus, that face was just too irresistible. Speaking of, they gazed at each other, Sam with a goofy grin and Gabriel wearing a smirk, silently for a beat too long.
“...No.” Dean saw now exactly what had happened between his brother and that pain in the ass angel and he didn't like the sight at all.
“Dean...” Castiel saw his new lover’s jaw clench and knew what was about to happen, he quickly grasped at Dean’s arm, a small gesture that he hoped would have a calming effect on the quick tempered hunter.
“This is a fucking joke, right? Cas, tell me that the Sam sitting in front of me is a fake conjured by your asshole brother! Please...” Dean slumped back in the chair, and began to rub at his forehead with his hand as he attempted to rationalize what he had just witnessed.
Castiel just sat there, his hand still on Dean’s arm knowing that there was nothing he could say to defuse the situation. It was now between the two brothers.
“You. FUCKED. My. Brother?!!!” Dean finally snapped again, pointing a finger at Gabriel as he fought the urge to grab a gun and shoot Gabriel between the eyes, still knowing that it wouldn’t do any good but, damn it, shooting him point blank would just make him feel better.
“Well, you fucked mine first so it was only fair...” Gabriel stuck his tongue out at Dean and was back to being snarky now that Sam was placated. The archangel was not at all scared that the hunter was once again in his pissed off mode. Hello! Archangel!
“You fucked this asshole?!” Dean’s head swung around to shoot Sam a glare, though his thumb jabbed in the direction of Gabriel.
“Uh...” Sam attempted to think of the response that would piss his brother off the least, and that having been all he could come up with said a lot in itself.
“Technically, I fucked this” Gabriel gestured at Sam the way a model would do to highlight a prize on a game show, “asshole...”
“Shut the fuck up!” Dean snapped as he shuddered at the thought of his baby brother being together with that feathered pain in the ass, pun totally and completely unintended. Dean shuddered again.
“Gabriel!” Sam wasn’t ready to admit how embarrassing it was that he squeaked at Gabriel’s comment.
“You!” Dean returned his attention to his brother. “Now look who’s talking about defiling an angel. Next time just keep your big mouth shut! ...Bitch!” Dean all but growled at his younger brother, not at all caring at this time about what the other people in the restaurant thought of the bizarre conversation.
“Jerk!!” Sam shot back at his brother, not ready to back down, “You have an angel now, so I got my own!” He felt it necessary to point that out.
“NOW YOU'RE TALKING LIKE HIM?!!” Dean was surprised at Sam’s quick and snarky comeback. Well, not so much surprised that he had quick and snarky comeback but that it was a trickster style one.
While the two brothers bickered back and forth Gabriel leaned back in his seat and gave a deep and long laugh. Though he might be trying to change that didn't mean he wouldn't enjoy a bit of chaos. Dean reached down to pick up his butter knife and chuck at Gabe’s head expertly. Of course the archangel was able to easily dodge the cheap cutlery with an obnoxiously cheeky grin. Castiel watched the lot of them with a sigh of fond exasperation. It seemed like some things would never change, like Dean and Gabriel inability to get along.
But some things do.
Here they were, team free will (plus one), peaceful and content. Yesterday this would have cast a menacing cloud of doubt to loom over Dean Winchester as he waits for the other shoe to drop. He was once bitten thus twice shy—well, ‘once’ was an enormous understatement—so it was understandable that good things would scare him.
He wasn’t now.
Sitting here with Castiel by his side while he argued with his beloved brother and, though he will never admit it aloud ever, fighting with the trickster... All their demons seemed so very far away and their Hell taint was gone—something that none of them thought possible—and in the absence of darkness, they radiated an aura of peace and happiness that brightened and polished everything it touched: the diner’s peeling wallpaper smoothed over, the scuffs on the floor buffed and polished, the tears in the booth seats sealed themselves up, the pie was perfectly warmed and it’s delicious scent much more potent.
The rundown middle of nowhere diner wasn't rundown or in the middle of nowhere this morning.
Not with team free will (plus one) there.
It didn’t stop with the diner: The surrounding flora was soothed, no longer overgrown and the colors more vibrant, the wildlife was calm, the air was crisp and clean, and the sun shone brighter yet its rays were gentle.
Dean had found what he believed he would never find: Paradise.
“Hey, Dean-o! Why are you daydreaming like a lovelorn teenage girl when your boyfriend is sitting right there giving you the goo-goo eyes—”
“Shut up, Asshole!”